Wedding Guidelines - Updated December 2009

Welcome!

We are happy to have you consider St. Michael for your wedding ceremony.  We have comprised the following information to assist you with your plans.

In planning your wedding, you must remember that the Wedding Liturgy is a worship service that gives glory and praise to God.  Therefore, your ceremony must be conducted in a way that enables all participants to actively participate in the Nuptial Liturgy.

The priest/deacon whom you ask to preside at your wedding is the appropriate person to resolve any questions regarding what is proper for Catholic worship.  Diocesan regulations require that you contact the parish priest or deacon four months prior to setting a wedding date.  Your wedding date cannot be set until the priest/deacon is consulted. Marriage is a sacrament of the Church similar to Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Eucharist.  It is a significant event in your spiritual life and it is important that your parish priest be informed of your plans.

Diocese of Savannah

1.  Four months is the minimum time required to complete all the necessary preparations for marriage in the church.

2.  In no case will reservations be accepted for the church or social hall without the approval of a priest or deacon from the parish.

3.  In most cases the parish priest or deacon is to be the official church witness for the marriage.

4.  In this diocese weddings MUST take place in a church or chapel.  Back yards, hotel ballrooms, homes, and reception halls are not to be chosen as wedding sites. Further, it is important that members of our own parish family be married in our own church.  This is your spiritual home, thus the place where all your religious celebrations, including weddings, take place.  Another church may not be chosen simply because it is more ornate, has larger aisles, or other architectural considerations.

5.  Marriage between a Catholic and a Christian of another denomination, or an unbaptized individual may take place in a Catholic or other denomination church or chapel – usually the church of the bride.  This follows the American tradition for choosing the church of the wedding.  A priest or deacon may be present if the service is to be held in another church.  We are happy to welcome ministers of other denominations to our church to assist in an Ecumenical wedding, with the understanding that the Catholic ritual will be used.

Here at St. Michael’s, the priest or deacon officiating at the wedding is responsible for all preparations and paperwork.

7.  The priest or deacon must, in his mind, be assured that the couple truly is aware of the responsibilities and commitment of a sacramental marriage before agreeing to witness the vows.  If it becomes apparent that the couple is not ready to make this sacramental commitment, it is the duty of the priest or deacon to recommend that the marriage be postponed for an appropriate length of time.

8.  Marriages of the very young are discouraged.

9.  If a couple is married outside the Church (by a Justice of the Peace, a judge, or a minister of another faith) without the necessary dispensation of the Church, the Church considers the marriage invalid.  This relationship can be “blessed”, in the church no sooner than one year after the original wedding ceremony took place.  The standard paperwork and preparations for the blessing of a marriage must be completed and the couple may be asked to participate in some marriage preparation or enrichment program.

The Ceremony

Time

Friday: May be scheduled any time after 4 PM*

Saturday: May begin on the half-hour from 10 AM to 2 PM.

Sunday: Only in special circumstances would a Nuptial Mass be celebrated on a Sunday due to the primacy of the Sunday Eucharistic celebration.

In celebrating the Liturgical Year couples may NOT schedule a wedding during the Lenten season (from Ash Wednesday until Easter Sunday) due to the penitential nature of the season and the austerity of the church decorations.

Fees for Use of Facilities

St. Michael provides registered, active, and tithing parishioners the church at no cost.  However, one of the parties must be registered at least a year before the wedding.

If neither party meets the above criteria, a “nonrefundable fee” of $300 is requires one month after first contact with the Church Secretary.  For couples who are not parishioners at St. Michael’s, a “nonrefundable fee” of $400 is required.

St. Michael makes available to the bridal party the Meeting Room in the Church for dressing.  Eating and drinking are NOT allowed within the Church building, to include the vestibule, sanctuary and meeting room.  St. Michael is a non-smoking area.  No smoking is allowed on  the Church Property.  St. Michael cannot accept any responsibility for the loss of personal items, valuables, money, etc.  It is wise to lock those items in the trunk of your car.

Music

Your wedding is a religious ceremony of the Roman Catholic Church.  As in any Liturgical ceremony, the music should be chosen with great care.  You have the opportunity to choose music for the wedding that will be conducive to prayer for the people you have invited to be part of your celebration.

Please contact our Church Organist as soon as possible to place the wedding in his/her schedule and to arrange an appointment for planning your wedding in detail.  Our Church Organist is contracted to play for all weddings at St. Michael Church.  An outside organist may be invited to play with the permission of the Pastor.  If such permission is given, it will still be necessary to pay our parish Church Organist fee, as this is part of his/her contract with St. Michael Church.

You may wish to have a friend, relative, or other soloist sing at your wedding.  This must be approved in advance by the Church Organist.  Solos may be sung as preludes to the wedding ceremony, during the Preparation of the Gifts at Mass, during the lighting of the Unity Candle, and during Holy Communion.  Outside soloists are expected to be competent and prepared.  If extra rehearsals are necessary, an additional fee will be charged.

Sacred (religious) music and certain classical pieces are both appropriate and preferred for a Catholic wedding.  As a rule, music of pop or secular nature will NOT be permitted in a nuptial ceremony.  Music for all weddings should follow the liturgical norms of the Catholic Liturgy and enable active singing participation of the acclamations and responses.  The Lord’s Prayer (Our Father) is an integral part of the wedding ceremony and should not be sung as a solo.

Additional instruments, i.e. flute, trumpets, etc. can always be used to enhance your wedding.  If you wish to consider these options, the Church Organist can help you arrange for competent, qualified musicians.  Under NO circumstances should you make arrangements for singers or instrumentalists before speaking with the Church Organist.

Rehearsal

The wedding rehearsal time and date is usually established with the priest/deacon officiating and is normally held the evening prior to the wedding.  Please ask your bridal party to be on time.  Late arrivals inconvenience everyone involved, as well as others waiting for the use of the church.  At the discretion of the priest/deacon, the rehearsal may begin without the late arriving parties.

Decorations & Furnishings

The church has available candelabra, with candles.

Bows may be used to mark reserved pews, but shall be attached so as not to damage the pews, i.e. no glue, tape, tacks, nails, etc.)

Due to the width of the center aisle and safety and insurance concerns, no candelabra or candles may be used or attached to the pews.

The church provides kneelers and chairs.

For safety reasons aisle runners may not be used.

Flower girls may drop silk petals – no live flowers. It is the responsibility of the parties using the church to remove these petals after the ceremony is over.

Throwing rice and birdseed are not permitted inside the church.

Seasonal considerations: The season of Advent – four weeks before Christmas – is a time of expectation and preparation.  It is a season of simplicity; decorations for weddings are limited to greenery and candles.  No ceremonies will be conducted during the penitential season of Lent.

Seasonal decorations already in the church – advent wreath/candles, Paschal candle, banners, etc. are to remain in the Church during the wedding.  The placement of attendants or accessory decorations take second place to the seasonal liturgical symbols used in the church.

Flowers beautify the sanctuary of our Church and we ask that you leave your flowers as a memorial after the wedding.  The flower arrangements remind every parishioner that the Sacrament of Marriage has been celebrated.

Times for Decorating

You are encouraged to set a time when your florist may come to decorate the Church.  The Church may be decorated on Friday evening or on Saturday.  However, all decorating of the Church must be removed by 4:00 p.m. on Saturday so as not to interfere with evening services.  Occasionally, there may be two wedding services on the same day.  In that event, decorations will have to be coordinated between both brides.  The two parties may want to share decorating expenses.

Photographers/Videographers

Photographers, professionals and otherwise, should speak with the priest/deacon to receive instructions before the ceremony.  At no time is the photographer to distract from the ceremony by his/her presence, noise, or the flashing of lights. The photographer is not allowed in the sanctuary during the ceremony.  Casual or indiscreet poses are not allowed in the Church.  Couples may consider having some photographs taken prior to the ceremony in the interest of saving time.  While photographing in the church, the sacredness of the Church building must be preserved through appropriate conduct at all times.  If the ceremony is to be videotaped, the operator of the camera must contact the Pastor prior to the wedding for instructions on proper camera placement.  The video camera must be stationary and unmanned in the sanctuary.

Social Hall

Our parish has a Social Hall that is available for receptions.  Please contact the Parish Secretary in the church office for fees and schedule of availability.

Please advise your guests that eating and drinking are to be confined to the hall and not to take place outside of the building, in the parking lot, or between the hall and church.  Celebrations of the Eucharist takes place on the weekends and our parish takes great pride in our facility and property.  Unsightly litter on the grounds is inappropriate.  All trash, cans, and bottles should be disposed of properly.

Wedding Etiquette

NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES are allowed to be consumed or be present on Church property prior to the rehearsal and wedding celebrations.  Catholics are reminded that it is appropriate to fast prior to a religious celebration and to feast only afterwards.  Consumption of alcohol by the bride and groom, or any of the wedding party immediately prior to the wedding is inappropriate.

IN CONCLUSION

The preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage is a deeply spiritual journey.  Catholics are expected to attend Mass each Sunday, receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation on a regular basis, attend marriage preparation classes, and make God an active part of your engagement and married life.

Again, congratulations on your upcoming marriage.  If there is anything we may do to be of assistance, please let us know.  May God continue to bless you all the days of your life.

St. Michael Catholic Church

802 Lovell Avenue 

Tybee Island, GA 31328 

(912) 786-4505

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The Parish family extends our sympathy and our prayers to you.

This booklet is to assist you in the planning of the funeral during your time of sadness. The Church’s funeral liturgies are to bring comfort and peace to the family as we commend our beloved dead to God’s loving embrace. Normally there are three parts to the Catholic Rite of Funerals:

I. The Vigil for the Deceased takes place the evening before the Funeral Mass and is within the context of the visitation at the funeral home (chapel). However, it can also take place in the parish church. The Vigil consists of Scripture readings and prayers pertaining to the mystery of death and resurrection. The Rosary (a decade) may be included within the Vigil Service. Eulogies are appropriate at the Vigil Service.

II. The Funeral Mass takes place in the parish church. Family members or friends may choose to place the Pall on the casket and also bring forth the gifts of bread and wine in the Offertory Procession. Adult family and adult friends are also invited to be a part of the Liturgy of the Word. There are no eulogies at the Funeral Mass.

III. The Rite of Committal/Burial.

For pastoral reasons an abbreviated form of the Catholic Rite of Funerals may take place at the cemetery. Some families, for whatever reason, may simply choose the Rite of Committal/Burial in place of the 3 part Catholic Rite of Funerals. If a “graveside ceremony” is chosen as the committal burial service, it would include readings from the Scriptures, a brief reflection and a possible eulogy. The Funeral Mass, however, is celebrated only in the parish church.

In recent years, the Catholic Church has allowed a relative or close friend of the deceased to offer a brief reflection/eulogy. If this is the desire of the family, it would normally be within the context of the Vigil for the Deceased. This reflection/eulogy should be prepared beforehand in written form lasting no longer than three to five minutes. The one giving the reflection/eulogy should speak to the accomplishments of the deceased keeping in mind that it takes place in the context of a religious service. It is not a time for comments or jokes that may be embarrassing to members of the family or those present.

Again, know that your parish family, as well as the local community, are praying for you and your loved one at this time of loss.

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Father Thomas J. Peyton, Pastor Deacon Fretwell G. Crider, Retired

The Liturgical Color for the funeral is chosen to express Christian hope; often the color is white.

The Paschal (Easter) Candle is placed at the foot of the casket to symbolize the Risen Christ and to signify that the deceased shares in Jesus’ victory over death. It recalls the Easter Vigil when we await the Lord’s resurrection and new light for the living and dead is kindled.

The Pall is placed over the coffin prior to the entrance procession. It is a reminder of the baptismal garment and all it signifies. The use of a similar pall for all in the community also signifies our equality in the eyes of Christ. This may be done by a family member(s) during the funeral Mass.

Holy Water is sprinkled on the casket to symbolize baptism into new life. It also reaffirms our faith in eternal life.

Incense is used during the Funeral Rite as a sign of honor to the physical person of the deceased, which through baptism became the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Incense also is used as a sign of the community’s prayers for the deceased rising to the throne of God and as a sign of farewell.

You have received a book “Through Death to Life” which includes the entire funeral rite. It also includes many, many scripture readings from the Old Testament, Responsorial Psalms, Alleluia Responses, New Testament and Gospel. Also several choices are given for the Prayers of the Faithful. This book is to assist you, the family, primarily for planning the funeral rituals but also and perhaps more importantly for you to find solace and comfort from the Word of God.

The readings that you select for the Funeral Liturgy should be chosen because of how the scripture speaks to your heart at this time of loss and grief but also of hope and of the resurrection of the body. Yes, there are many readings to choose from, but it is in the process of selecting that the Word of God may come to life and speak to you and your family in this moment of sadness.

Only adults should be considered for this role of lector (reader) of the sacred scripture.

FUNERAL MASS

You are asked to select one Old Testament reading, one New Testament reading, and one Gospel reading. During the Lenten season, there is no alleluia response. During the Easter season, there is no Old Testament reading but rather two readings from the New Testament. If the family chooses, a priest or deacon might select the Gospel.

VIGIL SERVICE

The actual ceremony for the Vigil of the Deceased has selected two scripture readings for the service, however it is strongly suggested that the family choose their own scripture readings even for the Vigil service. One would need to choose a New Testament and a Gospel for the Vigil service. The reason for the family choosing the scripture readings for the Vigil service is that often times it is hard to pick just one reading for the Funeral Mass so the opportunity is given to the family to use other scripture readings at the Vigil of the Deceased.

GRAVESIDE CEREMONY

If a family chooses, for pastoral reasons, to have only a Graveside Service the family would be invited to select the scripture readings. Normally, a New Testament reading and a Gospel is appropriate. A short eulogy by one family member might be included in the Graveside Service.

Until 1963, the Catholic Church not only preferred burial of the body in a tomb, but actually prohibited cremation. That prohibition was in response to a prevailing attitude connected with cremation which denied the resurrection of the dead and the immortality of the soul.

Today’s changing economic, geographic, ecological and family factors have led the Church to shift its position. The Catholic Church, while still preferring burial in a tomb, now permits cremation “in case of necessity” as it is not chosen as a denial of Christian teaching of the resurrection of the Body.

The Church prefers burial of the body in the ground or in a tomb for these reasons: It imitates the example of Christ’s burial. It emphasizes the dignity and respect for the human body. It strengthens our faith in our own personal resurrection. It counters the current cultural popularity and acceptance of the belief of reincarnation, a belief the Catholic Church does not accept as truth. It provides a foretaste of the spiritual transformation that takes place after death; and it helps facilitate the grieving process for the family.

“The Catholic Church honors the mortal remains of all the deceased. In Baptism, the body became “a Temple of the Holy Spirit”. For this reason, Church law requires an appropriate Christian burial that honors the body of the deceased. While the burial of the body is the preferred custom and tradition of the Catholic Church, cremation is now allowed. When cremation is chosen, it is expected that either the body or the ashes of cremation will be present during the Funeral Rites of the Church.”

The following options are possible:

1. The body in the cremation casket is present for the Vigil for the Deceased and for the Funeral Mass. After the Funeral Mass the body is cremated and the ashes are interred at the cemetery or columbary at a convenient time.

2. The cremation of the deceased may take place prior to the Vigil for the Deceased. The remains must be placed in a suitable urn or container and should be present at the Vigil for the Deceased as well as at the Funeral Liturgy. The Rite of Committal takes place at the cemetery where the ashes are interred in the ground or a columbary.

3. Church law requires that the human remains of cremation be given a proper Christian burial or entombment. Church law does not permit the ashes to be taken home or to be discarded by scattering in other places.

MUSIC

Because a funeral is an official ritual (ceremony) of the Roman Catholic Church, guidelines for music for the Liturgy are to be followed. Music is to follow the liturgical norms for Catholic Liturgy and should be appropriately selected so that singing can be shared by all in attendance.

Each piece of music in a Funeral Mass has a specific liturgical purpose, and so the music selected for those places must fulfill that purpose; for example: Responsorial Psalm, Alleluia Response, The Great Amen. If the family has special requests for favorite songs or sacred hymns that do not fall into a liturgical category, those requests in most cases can be accommodated at the funeral home, apart from the funeral Mass. Examples of this type of request would include all secular (non-religious) songs, as well as all recorded music.

All hymn selections and musicians need to be coordinated with the parish organist. If there is any question about the appropriateness of a hymn or piece of music, the final determination will be made by the Pastor.

During a Funeral Mass, three or four hymns may be selected:

1) Processional (Entrance) hymn

2) an Offertory solo (organ music or a preferred “congregational” hymn)

3) a Communion hymn, a solo, or a sung refrain from an appropriate Eucharistic hymn

4) a Song of Farewell (sung before the Final Commendation)

5) Recessional hymn

Please take note: The parish organist is under contract and therefore is the chosen organist for all parish events. If the parish organist is unavailable, a substitute organist will be approved by either the pastor or the parish organist.

Cantor - It is preferred that one of the parish cantors be used for liturgical ceremonies but for pastoral reasons other options may be discussed with the pastor.

Professional Musicians/Soloists - Professional musicians (instruments) and soloists may be used during the Funeral Mass at the Offertory Rite or Communion Rite, when approved by the Pastor or Parish Music Director.

USE OF HYMNS NOT IN THE HYMNAL

Any hymn selection that is requested and has been approved by the Pastor but is not in the hymnal may be used under the following circumstances:

1. It may be used as a solo at the Offertory or at Communion if legal copies (not photocopies) are available for the organist and the soloist. This requires no reprint permission.

2. If you wish to use a hymn not in the hymnal, it will be necessary to get reprint permission from the owner of the copyright so that you can provide the words or the words and music for the congregation to sing. The church organist will assist you in securing the reprint permission. Most publishers have a policy that allows for a one-time reprint, which covers funerals, for a $25 fee.

Please take note: Under no circumstance can either the music or the words to a copyrighted hymn be printed in a program or on a song sheet without legal reprint permission. By printing without reprint permission, you are doing so in direct violation of copyright laws and makes the church, through its participation liable.

Fees for the organist and cantor are determined either through the funeral director or with the parish organist, herself/himself. There is no fee for a parish family in the use of the church for a funeral liturgy. A family or individuals may wish to give a memorial gift to St. Michael Parish in the name of the deceased family member.

There is no remuneration or fee for the priest/deacon or altar servers for services during the Funeral Rite. However, if the family wishes to give a gift to either priest/deacon or altar server it should be in an envelope to the individual(s).

MASS INTENTIONS

It is a tradition of the Church that a Mass or Masses are celebrated for the deceased. These Mass Intentions are always scheduled with the church secretary. If requested, a Mass card may be sent to the family of the deceased. The stipend for a Memorial Mass according to Diocesan policy is minimal $5.

MONTHS MIND (M.M.)

A particular tradition for Masses for the deceased is to request a Mass to be said every month on the numerical date of the person’s death.

ANNIVERSARY MASS (A.)

Customarily some families prefer to have an Anniversary Mass said on the date of death rather than placing flowers at the cemetery.

Reminder: All Mass requests are through the Parish secretary. They are to be printed or typed. Normally one makes these requests three to six months prior to the date of request. Mass intentions will not be accepted beyond one year. If a particular date requested is already reserved by another family, there are two options:

2. The request will be sent to a missionary priest.

MEMORIAL GIFTS

Some families or individuals may choose to make a donation in the name of the deceased person or family member. This memorial gift could be for a particular item (i.e., vestments, altar candlesticks, altar cloths, church building fund, etc.). Acknowledgements of all memorial gifts are sent by the church secretary to the family of the deceased as well as the donor of the memorial gift.

PRAYER

God, our creator and redeemer,

by your power Christ conquered death

and returned to you in glory.

May all your people who have gone

before us in faith

share his victory

and enjoy the vision of your glory

forever,

where Christ lives and reigns with

you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, forever and ever.

Eternal rest grant unto him/her, O Lord.

And let perpetual light shine upon him/her.

May his/her soul and the souls of all the

faithful departed, through the mercy of God,

rest in peace.

Amen.